


Fully Magical, Luxury Prison sentence

by Bismuth_is_Underrated (Yuttis)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:00:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22032190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuttis/pseuds/Bismuth_is_Underrated
Summary: A magical prison filled with colourful characters lives its day to day "normal" life.Is it possible to stay sane when craziness is as maximum as your sentence?Also on wattpad!





	1. The Calamity before Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Volleyball is this prison's favourite sport, mainly because people actually play that one.

"Fuck!"

Calam's eyes were filled with fire. Her opponent WILL perish, like the ones before him. Calam will be victorious.

"YOUUUUUU!"

With a powerful slam, Calam punches her volleyball into the ground. The sand flied everywhere and the leader of opposing team sighed and started grooming his long curly hair.

"We were behind, Cal. You still would have won."

"Ah! You were behind ONE point, and I don't know about you, but I don't settle for mediocrity."

Nero sighed, flipped his hair and took the ball.

"Score is twenty-three, twenty-five for team Cal 'n Pals, I guess."

The said Cal 'n Pals did a loud cheer and jumped to their positions. Nero's team, WhyWouldPrisonWolleyballteamNeedAName, was not as enthusiastic to go against the screaming horde again.

"Reaaaady?" Cal flapped her wings, her team joining in by hollering and clapping whatever they could as well.

Before Nero could say "It's impossible when competing against you," Cal threw the ball high in the air, yelling "When you go against our team,"

"Be ready for calamity!" the team answered with perfect unity, and the game had begun anew.

The final score was fifty for Cal 'n Pals, thirty four for WhyDoesPrison'.

The guards came and took away the ball as all people were ushered back inside for the evening.

\---

"So THEN I created a vortex into the water, just to see how big I could get it, and the guards FLIPPED OUT! They were threatening me with a gun and all!" An inappropriate laugh. 

"And apparently they thought that I was trying to use my powers to erode the bottom of the pool to escape BECAUSE, and this is the kicker, apparently the bottom of the pool is paper-thin and, AND! Mari told me, that someone HAD escaped through the pool! Do you recon it's true?"

"Maybe, Janet," Nero shrugged, carefully washing his hair over the sink. It was very sensitive. "But hey, maybe a story told by Mari will turn out to NOT be fake for once."

Janet was levitating a bar of soap in front of her face, expression thoughtful. "Maybe.."

And that was the thing: Janet could not understand sarcasm. In Nero's opinion, it was what made their relationship work. In Janet's opinion, people should just say what they mean.

Janet hopped down from her bunk bed, throwing the soap up and down without touching it.

"Well, anyway, I'm planning on trying to crack the pool's wall. If, and this in an IF but if, the pools walls and floor are made out of the same material I could test Mari's story's credibility!"

Shrugging, the smaller man plucked the soap in the air with his hair, that could move on it's own.

"It would probably work."

"Yeah it would!" Janet said, looking for new things to levitate. "It's still so weird that we have a pool though."

"Yes," Nero rolled his eyes, "because the first thing a prison by the sea and with a beach needs is a swimming pool, yes of course."

"No it doesn't! We-" 

Janet stopped, squinted, and started mumbling under her breath:

"Eyeroll, totally untrue statement, flat voice.." Then, out loud, she said 

"Are you being sarcastic again?"

Nero, now carefully reninsing his hair all without using hands, smiled and patted Janet on her shoulder: "All day, every day, buddy. Now let's get that dinner."

Together they exited their cell.


	2. The Queen and King of being Old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is the ruler of something.

Janet and Nero strode into the dining hall like they owned the world. After all, they were the king and queen.

No, not the queen of awesome, that was Calam. And not the king of the biggest gang, that was Canter. And no, not even the ruler of ramen, as that was Ramen.  
No, Janet and Nero were the king and queen of being old.

"Hey, Nero!" one of Canter's sycophants shouted, the one fresh from outside, "you gonna give me money for my ramen or what?"

Nero only shrugged and answered: "Only if you give me money to get your haircut. Because I would have to be paid to get it."  
The sycophant gasped, like he was in a soap opera, and pulled his claw behind him to probably punch Nero.

"Wow, calm down," Nero said with all the chill in the world. He started slowly leaning backwards and left- towards Janet, who was levitation a pen in from of her eyes like it held the Meaning of Life.  
"We wouldn't want anyone to get hurt."

The lion-clawed one's eyes flicked to Janet, and in seconds he was power walking away from Nero. Nero snorted and walked with Janet to their table, filed with Nero's volleyball team and other old-timers. 

Janet levitated everything red out of her food and dropped them in Nero's. In return, Nero gave Janet some of his non-red-food.

"Any other plans for volleyball matches?" Aster asked, chewing.  
"Hopefully not with Calam again!"  
Everyone hummed.  
"I don't think I could survive another match with them."

Janet looked up in confusion, then closed her mouth and resumed eating.

"Why do they have a CHANT anyway? I'm surprised they haven't managed to get any cheerleaders yet!"  
"Oh, they probably will at some point."

Janet pulled out her notepad and turned some pages, then injected: "According to Samil, Camal's second-in-command, they are their OWN cheerleaders."  
Everyone mumbled "yeah, makes sense," and the conversation went on.

When she was finished with her food, Janet stood up and started walking from table to table and filling her levitating notebook.   
In Nero's opinion, Janet had a gossip problem. In Janet's opinion, it was the best detective work she was gonna get.

When she returned, she reported to everyone, talking kilometer a minute: "So! I questioned a bunch of people and apparently someone HAD escaped through the pool, BUT not through the floor, but by PROPELLING themself out using water!"  
Janet did a break to breathe.  
"But here's the juiciest bit! So, SO, whoever they were, they came BACK here for some unknown reasons! Now, this. Is. Just. BEGGING! For further investigation."

Nero raised both of his eyebrows.  
"Did Mari tell you that bit?"

Janet broke out of her excited trance and hunched over her notebook, frantically turning pages.   
"Yes, Mari did. How did ya know?"

"Mari always tells you the most obviously untrue shit."

"Well," Janet said, turning to another page again, "Mari actually had rather high percent of at least partially true stories of 67 percent partially true and 7 percent of fully true."  
"That's just because you counted her story of "someone was destroying shit in the bathroom" as partially true when Salen had accidentally cracked the stall door with his little finger."

"It was one time" Salen shouted and everybody laughed.

Nero just shook his head.  
"You get my point."

"I do," Janet shrugged, sat down and went on to flip the pages in her notebook, seemingly on random.   
When she seemed to find what she was looking for, her eyes lit up again.

"Here! Day 739, or Saturday two weeks ago: I heard from the conversation between Samil and Fem.."   
"Wait, you eavesdrop on others' conversations now?"  
"..that Fem had been hearing strange noises from the unrenovated corridor in the north wing. In of itself, it doesn't mean anything, BUT! If you copy it with seven other accounts I have of people hearing and seeing weird stuff in the northern wing.."

Janet began levitating the pen before her eyes again.  
"..it just makes SENSE!"

"Ah-ah."  
Nero seemed unimpressed.  
"This seems totally reasonable. Not at all like the time you were convinced that our old cellmate had a crack ring." Poor guy, he was. Janet had attempted reverse-psychology as a way to find out the truth. Poor man was traumatised.

"Oh, you think so? So you would be fine with coming with me tonight after the curfew to check out the northern wing?"  
Janet was practically jumping up and down.

Before Nero could answer, Janet kept talking:  
"Of course, you said that with an "ah-ah" and a voice that had a total difference of only 3 tones, but I'm not gonna tell you that you were sarcastic. More than once.  
Instead, I'm gonna tell you that you're coming with me again!"

Dammit. Nero sighed and pulled on his meal: a mystery substance with chunky bits.   
Because Janet thought he still needed convincing, she added: "I can then tell you about Ramen's newest secret then!"

But Nero was obsessed with Ramen! He could not refuse.  
"Deal."


	3. Fun Facts (tm) about Ramen, the ruler of Ramen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is said that food is a way to man's atreries. Or something.

No amount of Fun Facts (™) about Ramen [rei-men], the ruler of ramen [ra:-men], makes up for being levitated behind Janet as she explores, the notebook up her nose.

"Why do you have a notebook anyway? You remember everything in it!"  
"No I don't," she whispered back.  
Nero didn't whisper. "Yes you do. What's on page 56?"  
"A detailed descriptions of everyone's clothing and hairstyle patterns," Janet answered immediately.  
"And on page 132?"  
"The attempt to find out universe's true secrets in order to exploit them. Now sush. I am searching."

Nero groaned. Janet never let him even walk because he made "too much noise".

"So what's in the "universe's secrets" page?"  
Javet threw her notebook at Nero, still looking around in the pitch darkness like she actually saw something: "Universe's TRUE secrets. I already discovered the normal secrets."  
Of course she did.   
"That are?"  
"That this world is a story being written by teenager in an universe where people like us don't exist."

"Yeah, right."

Nero opened the TRUE secrets' page. It was filled with tiny text, even tinier than Janet's normal handwriting. Nero held the book up with his hair, freeing up his hands, which he used to take a small LED out of his pocket to light the page.

The page was filled with a lot of numbers and seemingly random words, like memory erasing? And also Nero's name? Like, suspiciously a lot?

Before Nero could ask about it, Janet pulled the book back with her powers and scribbled something into it.  
"After cross-referencing all 27 sources, the noises should start in two minutes. Be ready."

Nero kept on floating in air, unimpressed.   
"Sure."

When in another twenty minutes nothing happened, Janet started talking:  
"Now my current theory is that there's a global cons-"  
Janet shut up, took a sudden U-turn and started running. She did quick dashes from corridor to corridor until she slammed someone into a wall. The woman pulled a knife and a flashlight out of nowhere and pointed them at the other person.

"AAAH!"

Nero recognised that face instantly.  
"Ramen?"

The ruler of ramen tried to carefully push themself away from the wall, but then they probably saw the knife and backed off.

Their glossy sunglasses, bought with ramen money, could not hide the bags under their eyes.  
And behind them could be seen stacks and stacks on boxes, all filled with instant noodles.

"Yeah? And who the fuck are you?"

Nero sighed, and told Janet with no malice in his voice:  
"I told you-"

\---

"-it's nothing."

"It wasn't nothing," Janet defended, "it was Ramen getting their stock"

Nero pulled on his face with his hair.   
"It was nothing interesting."  
"Oh, anything could be interesting if you add emotion into it!"  
Janet bowed over the other, a myriad of objects floating around her.  
"This is why slice-of-life comedies are so popular!"

"And what, we're in a slice-of-life comedy?"  
"Well, our genre is rather FANTASY but there are also some of these elements. But!"  
Janet searched through her notebook.  
"As our author is NOT a professional we might see some genre shifts in the future."

Right, the secrets of the universe.

"But, but, in a way, our genre is not important. If only I could find a way to change the text, even ONE word at a time I could crack it all! Now, this obviously needs further investigation, BUT-"

"Please, Janet."

Janet looked at Nero: slurred speech, closing eyes, pained expression.. oh! He was tired! Right, it was 4 am after all.

"Yes, Nero. I'll let you sleep."  
"Sweet dreams."


	4. Joe. Joe who? Joe crack ring!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gossiping about the closest person this place has to an allknowing god is a bad idea.

"Forty eight!"  
Calam pushed herself up with her hands, then went down again.  
"Forty nine! Come on, you can do it!"  
One more push-up.  
"Aaand one hundred and fifty - great job, Calam!"

Cal took the hand in front of her and used it to pull herself up.  
"Thanks, Samil."  
"Always!" came the energised answer.  
"Now," Cal pulled on her t-shirt with wing-holes, "whoever gets to eating hall first wins!"

\---

"So," Mari started, checking her nails like she didn't even care, "did you hear about the shit that Nero and Janet did last night?"  
"What, they broke into everyone's cells because Janet wanted to watch us sleep?" Calam laughed.

"No, guys, don't be mean," Samil injected.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry, yeah, what the fuck did the boring 'n sarcastic do this time?"  
"Well, we all know it was rather Janet doing it and Nero floating behind like a dog!" Mari snickered, but then she leaned forward and hushed her voice, saying:   
"This is from a friend of a friend of Ramen, but the story goes that Janet is trying to overtake Ramen's ramen busyness~"

"No I'm not."

Everyone screamed. Cal will later say that her's was really badass but it wasn't.

"And you heard it from Pasé, so it's actually friend of a friend of a friend of Ramen," Janet said, floating in the air, expression blank.   
Like a psychopath, Cal thought.

"Ah! No it's not! Nood and Ramen are friends!" Mari defended fiercely.

Janet just floated her notebook to her face, flipped some pages and said: "As of two weeks ago, they aren't. You should fact check more."  
"YOU should fact check more! I told you about the MyStErIoUs WaNdErEr yesterday and you fucking believed it!"  
Mari added a laugh just to hammer home how much better than Janet she was.

Janet flipped some more pages, floating even higher.  
"No I didn't. I was actually fact checking this yesterday night. I found Ramen's drop-off point accidentally. I do that sometimes."  
"Oh," Mari rolled her eyes, "you JUST do that sometimes."  
"Yes. Now I have to eat my miso-soup."

They waited until Janet was out of earshot.

"That bastard!-" Mari was pulling her hair "She KNOWS about the miso-soup incident!"  
"She probably did'n-"  
Cal's eyes widened  
"Wait, where was her lap dog?"  
They looked around: Nero was nowhere in sight.  
"She probably finally killed him," Mari snorted.  
"Seems legit."

"GUYS!"

The other two looked at Samil.

"Janet is nice! Remember when she used to call me Samí and it upset me? Well I told her that and she was so considerate! And she apologised and didn't do it again and stuff. You know.  
And also.. she seems kind of upset right now."

Mari looked sceptical. She started to raise her finger to object but Cal pushed it down.

"Remember when Nero told us that when Janet feels strong emotions she tends to levitate more stuff because it calms her down?"

The group looked towards the woman. Floating stuff followed her. And she DID look kinda sad.

Cal felt a bit uncomfortable.  
"Nero IS the number one expert of Janet."  
He's the only expert of Janet.

"Exactly! And Mar."  
Mari looked towards Samil, looking upset but trying to hide it:  
"Yeah?"  
"Doesn't Janet always give you the best gossip? She's like your best source!"

"I mean YEAH but she's always just so- ugh! She just TELLS me stuff either so fucking neutrally or way too excitedly!"  
"Then what is she SUPPOSED to do? She's nice as fuck, just why are you so mean?"

They would have argued more, but Cal whistled, getting her extended possei's attention.

Nero entered the room and, damn, he looked miserable.  
Mari ran to him but Nero whisked her away, walking forward.

"Hey, Nero!" Calam beconed.  
"You look like crap, what's up!"  
Nero looked at Calam and Samil with somewhat empty eyes and croaked out:  
"You remembered Joe and his crack ring?"

Samil looked incredibly worried.  
"Wait, the Joe who had to leave because the girl who doesn't understand sarcasm started to use sarcasm around him and only him? I mean at least it can't be worse!"  
"It is. It's so much worse."  
"Wh-hat is it then?"

"She thinks that this reality is a book!"

\---

"Look at the bright side: at least Joe's crack ring ISN'T the worst incident anymore!"

Samil's attempt of optimism was unappreciated.

"So what, crazy lady has another crazy theory, big deal," Mari said to the big circle of people, hungry for anything to break the boredom of life.

"It kind of is."  
People turned towards Calam so she made sure to subtly flex her muscles.  
"Joe might not had a crack ring but there was SOMETHING up with him. Quick, what's his power?"  
After no answer came, she continued:  
"This is a prison for the powered and we can't even NAME his. Isn't that strange. And, Mari don't object on this, you literally told me that, he had a habit of sneaking out at weird times."

"And what," Mari sneered, "she gets it AlMoSt RiGhT again? HOW?"

"Dunno. But she probably just noticed something weird and builded an odd theory around it."

They all peered towards Janet and Nero sitting next to him. He seemed to be close to falling asleep while she was trying to get his attention, more and more things floating around her.   
Samil stood up.  
"I-I'll.. yeah."  
He walked towards Janet and Nero.

Everyone was silent for moments.

"Sooo…" Fem started, "whens the next volleyball match?"  
It's as good reason as any to ignore the weirdness around them.


End file.
